I'm sitting here on the eve of my 38th birthday with root color in my hair and a charcoal mask "pulling out all the dirt and oil" from my face; wow, I know how to live it up don't I!?!? LOL
I've been composing this blog in my head for a few days now and I finally want to get it written and explain where I've been for the last year (kinda).
First, I will say that the ease of Face.bo.ok as made it quick and simple to get a thought out there ASAP, no waiting to sit down with a blog to share it with friends, just whip out the phone, type it out quickly, post and done. I'm blaming FB for my lack of posting, how about them apples. lol
In all honesty, I've been doing a bunch of private blogging. Needing to get my thoughts down without the whole world seeing my inner demons. Has it helped? Eh, some days it has, others not so much. But no looking back, only towards the future, right?
So, I want to share what I have learned over this last year and layout some goals for the next.
The first thing I have learned is that laying out goals doesn't always work in my favor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I contradicted myself, but shut it, its my blog and I can do what I want.
I can no longer say "I want to do X by Y", it always seems to be a formula for failure for me and then I get up set and then I don't want to try to do what I said I was going to because I already failed, blah, blah, blah... Nope not going to do it. But I have modified it to be "one day, one meal, one workout at a time". That is all the forward thinking I can do, no more, no less. So that is #1 on my list...
1) One Day, One Meal, One Workout at a time
The next big thing I learned this year is that you really do need friends. I have felt that I leaned on my friends more this year than past years combined. They were there to lend an ear, get mad with me, give me advice, extend a helping hand or just offer their unwavering support. For that I am grateful beyond what I can express via this blog or even to their face. I love you dearly.
2) Your friends are YOUR friends for a reason, they will always love and support you. PERIOD.
I have also learned that guilt, regret and shame are powerful emotions that can slowly eat away at you and ruin all that you have worked for. They can keep you up at night, they can make you second and third guess yourself, and I'm sure they have cause gray hair & additional wrinkles. Work through them and keep fighting, and that is the light at the end of the tunnel and it is getting closer every day.
3) Nothing you can do about it now, keep fighting, move forward, learn.
This next lesson is one that I am just amazed about. I believe there are no quality, honest, and kind men left in this world (or at least in the greater Houston area). Part of my changed outlook after my surgery was to put myself out there, try to meet a guy. BAAWAAAHAAAA, so much easier said than done. I blame most of my problems with TV and 'chick flick' movies; you know what? F-U to all those shows that portray the last friend of the pact meeting a handsome man who wins over her friends with witty statements & charm and then sweeps her off of her feet and they live happily every after. F-U. Yeah, that does NOT happen. EVER.
I'm so conflicted on this one, do I completely give up, stop putting myself out there knowing that they aren't going to come knocking on my door OR do I keep kissing (and kicking) frogs to hopefully find 'my prince' one day, stay in the game. I do know this for sure, I do need a break, I am becoming jaded and that is the last thing I want. I don't want to be some bitter (fine, more bitter) chick then I already am.
4) Take a break from the guy search. Give yourself a rest from the Neanderthal men.
Let's change the subject to something more cheerful, shall we? The next lesson is... "I have talent". Everyone knows how much I love glass and how I love to learn new techniques & such, but this year has been a bit different for me. I was accepted into a local art gallery, which lead to an article being written about me, which will lead to who knows what. I will admit, I'm scared, but in that cool kinda way.
5) I have a talent and people appreciate my work
I have been growing my hair out since my surgery, I'll get it trimmed every 6 weeks or so, but for the most part, I've just let it go. I'm starting to really like it, I'm surprised that I do to tell you the truth. If I could survive the hottest summer on record for Houston with this long hair, there is no reason not to keep it.
6) When I want to chop all my hair off, don't let me, it will pass.
To be honest, I can't think of any more lessons to tell the 38 year old Nicole to follow. Maybe I'm getting old and just can't remember. lol. I do know this though, I wish I could tell that 22 year old Nicole a few things, or that 24 year old Nicole who just lost her mother, or 26 when she bought her first house, or 30 when she thought she was over the hill, or 34 when she cried that she STILL wasn't with someone, or that 36 year old Nicole who was being wheeled into surgery. So many things learned each day and so many more to come.
7) You rock!
I'm going to close this post with the top 3 of my "favorite" things I've had a guy email me or say to me. Get a laugh out of them, I am now (some not at the time).
Bonus lesson (learn 7, get one free)
8) It is their loss...
okay, top 3:
3) (after seeing a few additional pictures of me) "No thank you"
2) "I usually date cuter than you. If you'd like to come over and bleep, sure, but I wouldn't date you"
1) "You are wonderful, everything I've been looking for, I can see us together, blah, blah, blah, can you send me $3000?"
And there you guys go, my last year wrapped up into a nice blog posting. I hope it won't be until next year that I post again, I will try harder, but no promises...
I've been composing this blog in my head for a few days now and I finally want to get it written and explain where I've been for the last year (kinda).
First, I will say that the ease of Face.bo.ok as made it quick and simple to get a thought out there ASAP, no waiting to sit down with a blog to share it with friends, just whip out the phone, type it out quickly, post and done. I'm blaming FB for my lack of posting, how about them apples. lol
In all honesty, I've been doing a bunch of private blogging. Needing to get my thoughts down without the whole world seeing my inner demons. Has it helped? Eh, some days it has, others not so much. But no looking back, only towards the future, right?
So, I want to share what I have learned over this last year and layout some goals for the next.
The first thing I have learned is that laying out goals doesn't always work in my favor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I contradicted myself, but shut it, its my blog and I can do what I want.
I can no longer say "I want to do X by Y", it always seems to be a formula for failure for me and then I get up set and then I don't want to try to do what I said I was going to because I already failed, blah, blah, blah... Nope not going to do it. But I have modified it to be "one day, one meal, one workout at a time". That is all the forward thinking I can do, no more, no less. So that is #1 on my list...
1) One Day, One Meal, One Workout at a time
The next big thing I learned this year is that you really do need friends. I have felt that I leaned on my friends more this year than past years combined. They were there to lend an ear, get mad with me, give me advice, extend a helping hand or just offer their unwavering support. For that I am grateful beyond what I can express via this blog or even to their face. I love you dearly.
2) Your friends are YOUR friends for a reason, they will always love and support you. PERIOD.
I have also learned that guilt, regret and shame are powerful emotions that can slowly eat away at you and ruin all that you have worked for. They can keep you up at night, they can make you second and third guess yourself, and I'm sure they have cause gray hair & additional wrinkles. Work through them and keep fighting, and that is the light at the end of the tunnel and it is getting closer every day.
3) Nothing you can do about it now, keep fighting, move forward, learn.
This next lesson is one that I am just amazed about. I believe there are no quality, honest, and kind men left in this world (or at least in the greater Houston area). Part of my changed outlook after my surgery was to put myself out there, try to meet a guy. BAAWAAAHAAAA, so much easier said than done. I blame most of my problems with TV and 'chick flick' movies; you know what? F-U to all those shows that portray the last friend of the pact meeting a handsome man who wins over her friends with witty statements & charm and then sweeps her off of her feet and they live happily every after. F-U. Yeah, that does NOT happen. EVER.
I'm so conflicted on this one, do I completely give up, stop putting myself out there knowing that they aren't going to come knocking on my door OR do I keep kissing (and kicking) frogs to hopefully find 'my prince' one day, stay in the game. I do know this for sure, I do need a break, I am becoming jaded and that is the last thing I want. I don't want to be some bitter (fine, more bitter) chick then I already am.
4) Take a break from the guy search. Give yourself a rest from the Neanderthal men.
Let's change the subject to something more cheerful, shall we? The next lesson is... "I have talent". Everyone knows how much I love glass and how I love to learn new techniques & such, but this year has been a bit different for me. I was accepted into a local art gallery, which lead to an article being written about me, which will lead to who knows what. I will admit, I'm scared, but in that cool kinda way.
5) I have a talent and people appreciate my work
I have been growing my hair out since my surgery, I'll get it trimmed every 6 weeks or so, but for the most part, I've just let it go. I'm starting to really like it, I'm surprised that I do to tell you the truth. If I could survive the hottest summer on record for Houston with this long hair, there is no reason not to keep it.
6) When I want to chop all my hair off, don't let me, it will pass.
To be honest, I can't think of any more lessons to tell the 38 year old Nicole to follow. Maybe I'm getting old and just can't remember. lol. I do know this though, I wish I could tell that 22 year old Nicole a few things, or that 24 year old Nicole who just lost her mother, or 26 when she bought her first house, or 30 when she thought she was over the hill, or 34 when she cried that she STILL wasn't with someone, or that 36 year old Nicole who was being wheeled into surgery. So many things learned each day and so many more to come.
7) You rock!
I'm going to close this post with the top 3 of my "favorite" things I've had a guy email me or say to me. Get a laugh out of them, I am now (some not at the time).
Bonus lesson (learn 7, get one free)
8) It is their loss...
okay, top 3:
3) (after seeing a few additional pictures of me) "No thank you"
2) "I usually date cuter than you. If you'd like to come over and bleep, sure, but I wouldn't date you"
1) "You are wonderful, everything I've been looking for, I can see us together, blah, blah, blah, can you send me $3000?"
And there you guys go, my last year wrapped up into a nice blog posting. I hope it won't be until next year that I post again, I will try harder, but no promises...
