The Mad Happenings of a Glass Princess

Here is the piece that I was talking about Sunday night...
I still need to cut the clear edges off it (I want a blunt edge), cold work it some and then slump it into a large sushi platter. I just love all the colors! I might have to make another for me :-)

LOL, it sounds like my title is the beginning of a bad joke, but it is just my life. :-)

Much to catch up on... sit back and settle in, this is going to be a long post!

Mental Health Update
First, I'm doing MUCH better than I have been. I think my post a few weeks ago showed me at a low point, which I very much was. Luckily you missed my rage phase, I was just too on edge to blog. So, this is what happened... I got into a funk and I didn't know how to get out of it, things were just really blue and I went to go see my doctor. We talk and we decided that trying a new happy pill might be in order, so I did. OHMYGOSH, looking back on it, that was NOT the move to make. I didn't react very well to the new drug AT ALL and last week it all came to a head with me beating the refrigerator with a meet tenderizer and my boss asking what the hell was wrong with me. I knew that I needed off that stuff ASAP and back on my other stuff. That is exactly what I did, I went back to the doctor, I also am seeing my therapist again and we are scheduling regular meetings (I need structure). The effects of these changes were almost immediate, i cannot even begin to express how better I feel already. I was even able to get up in the studio and design a really cool piece. It is in the kiln right now, I can't wait to see it in the morning. I can't help to wonder "what the hell is wrong with me". But I guess that is what I'm going to explore in my upcoming meetings. Also, I pray that KBC never experience any of what I'm going thru. I hope that is crazy/low self esteem gene ends with me; just the thought rips my heart out.

The Refrigerator
If there was any way I could have opened the back door and thrown out my refrigerator, it would have been done by now. I hinted at issues a couple days ago and I think the worst is over, thank goodness. A few weeks ago, there was this clicking noise FROM HELL coming from the ice maker part of the unit. CLICKclickCLICK, CLICKclickCLICK, CLICKclickCLICK, CLICKclickCLICK for about 7 to 10 minutes every hour or so. I'd turn up the volume on the TV, I would leave the room, I would go sit outside, NOTHING would drown out the sound. CLICKclickCLICK, all hours of the night. I was fighting the new medicine and that CLICKclickCLICK just pushed me over the edge. At about 3am last Friday night, I took a meat tenderizer to it to try to shut it up. Yeah, it didn't work. CLICKclickCLICK. It just mocked me. RAGE.
The repair guy came out on Monday and said that he had to order parts would be back next Tuesday. WHAT?!?!? I broke down and cried, the poor man didn't know what to make of me. He tells me that my ice thing is frozen solid, I have to unplug the thing, and let it defrost. WHAT!?!? WTF am I suppose to do with all my food, my iced tea (my gosh!). That is where Jodie's frig and the massive roach comes into play. I finally did it this weekend, about 4pm CST today, I finally was able to pull the draw open, and restart my frig. YAY!! See some pics below!

The small one i borrowed from Jodie. It is sitting by my side door.

The beast trying to defrost. See the white thing on the upper right, that is causing all the issues!

House Guest
So, Brody, Samson and I have a house guest for a couple of weeks! Her parents are across the globe in different directions. Her dad is in Japan supporting the current shuttle flight and her mom is pretending to be on Mars while in the Arctic. She has been fun. Dinner time is a little rough, she likes to 'share' Brody and Samson's food, but they don't feel the same way. It has been fun watching them wrestle, she has been holding her own very well.

Watching TV with me. Think she has made herself at home?
Men on the Moon & a turtle

Friday night they were holding a splashdown of Apollo 11 at Spa.ce Cen.ter Hou.ston. Tickets were sold out and I was looking forward to listening to some of the apollo guys speak. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin (the 1st and 2nd men to walk on the moon) were there too. They are getting older and who knows if I would ever have a chance to hear them, so I was having a geek moment. (at least it wasn't rage, right?)
I got home early from work on Friday so I could the puppies run around and such. I was sitting on the couch flipping thru the channels and the dogs start going nuts. I figured it was another dog walking by, but they would NOT stop barking. So, I kinda lean over to see what they are looking at. WTF is that?!?! It was one of those things that you blink a bunch of times and just wonder if you are seeing things. This is what was out there:

So, a roach followed me in tonight when I was carrying the mini-refrig that I had to borrow ( that is another blog, when I'm not so angry). The roach was Texas-sized and scary! Brody and Sam just watched it crawl up the wall. I ran out to the garage to get some Ra.id and all I had was stuff for wasps, but I grabbed it anyway and ran back inside. There it was, right above the entertainment center! I shot at it and it fell, and I heard it hit somewhere -- GROSS. I quickly grab my phone and text Jodie, it goes something like this...
nb: there is a huge roach in the house
jr: do you have raid
nb: I have stuff for wasps, but I sprayed it anyway, help me
jr: help how?
nb: I hear it dying and it is freaking me out, come kill it.
so not 90 seconds later, the Acadia pulls up, the dogs attack her and she goes after it! It was slowly dying behind the TV. She gives it one more spray, I grab 10000 paper towels and pull it out. My skin is crawling.
Her job was done, she says good night and leaves!
Thanks Jodie, just another thing I can count on you for!

Recieved this picture text from Stacy of Caitlyn and Bently, it was titled "They're Both in Trouble".

(not the best picture, but still funny)

My first born is 7 today. Or at least today is the day that my vet and I picked as his possible birth day. He was thrown over the fence at the shelter, so no one really knows when he was born.

My little boy...


I freakin' love this dog as if I gave birth to him myself. I know that sounds absolutely, 'she has really lost her mind now', ridiculous to you mothers out there that grew and delivered a human baby, but this is the closest thing I have. We have become so in-tuned with one another, I know what he wants by just the way he looks at me and he is there to cuddle with me when I need it most.
Last night, he jumped on my bed as I brushed my teeth and I saw him look at my pillow. "No WAY!" came out of my mouth, he actually sighed a little and then moved to the end of the bed--far enough away where I would have room to lay down, but close enough that I could still tuck my feet under him and know that he was there.
I haven't been sleeping well lately, I'm unable to turn my mind off at night. Things just swirling, rushing thru my head--decisions to be made, bills to pay, art to be created, conversations I should have had, conversations I shouldn't have had, adventures that I'm way too chicken shit to ever do, etc... you name it, it is in my head at that exact moment I should be falling asleep. And Tyle.nol PM is shit. But Brody... he is there. He is the relaxing force in my life right now. Last night I turned my pillow to the other end of the bed and curled up with him and I finally fell asleep...

anywho, happy birthday to my Brody...

This past Saturday I went over to Carolyn's house to discuss the Chicago trip (which isn't happeneing, too much $$$), to have dinner and let the all the boys play.
It was way to hot outside, so we went inside, looked at maps of Chicago and such. As we are doing this, Matteo is walking up to Samson and sticking his head below Samson's head and trying to get to his chest. Sammy is not bothered by this at all, he just keeps sniffing Matteo's head or looking at him.
NB: "What is he doing?"
Carolyn: "oh! he is trying to get Samson's white patch"
NB: "really!?"
Carolyn: "it is driving him nuts that Samson has that white spot on his chest"
Sure enough, that is what Matteo was trying to do, trying to 'get' that white stuff. It was so funny. You really had to see it to get the full effect.
Oh, and then, Matteo and Samson were little boogers during dinner. Samson would slowly move up to Matteo's high chair, and Matteo would hand him some food. They had a good little system going. We would tell them both no, and Matteo would look at Samson and say "no, no!" and then do it again a few seconds later. Too funny.

There have been things that have been on my mind for several weeks now, and I just didn’t want to sit down and start blogging about them b/c some will sound like I’m complaining. And I guess I am somewhat, but other items are just random feelings and such, so I’m just going to barf out words and let it all come out so I can get my mind off of this and on to other things.

· First, my friends are my family. Without a doubt, I could not survive without my friends. And I want my friends to know that even if we don’t talk for a day, a week, a month or a year, I think of you often. There are nights that I do nothing but think of friends and certain situations that have happened in the past—and I think to myself “I’ll call them tomorrow”, and tomorrow comes all crazy and I never call. Please know that I’m not purposely ignoring you; sometimes I don’t call cause I don’t want to be a ‘debbie downer’ and I plan to call on a better mental health day, but those are harder to muster up sometimes.
Also, the phone works both ways.

· I really love the website failblog.com, I crack up every day when I visit it.

· I never thought leaving Bld 35 would be as hard as its been. I knew I would miss my friends/co-workers, but not to the point that I believe it has affected my mental health. The daily, quick low-down of life in the hall is greatly missed. And realizing that sometimes that was my only (friendly) human interaction for the day has been hard to deal with, but I’m getting thru it.

· The Mutt Hut is closing in just over a week. I’m crushed. I know the boys love it there and I rely on them to wear ‘em out for me if I’m going to late at work or I’m going out for a night or something. Standby as I wipe away a tear…

· I am secretly or not so secretly enjoying watching the various stages of life with all of the kids in my circle of friends. Amazing. I only get to see KBC every-so-often, and I miss the everyday changes they make, seeing it closer is fun. But I still don’t want kids!

· If I got three wishes, one of them would be for me to have an ounce of athletic ability.

· Sometimes I too freakin nice.

· I hate that friends avoid the dog house and dog car. I’m sorry if the beasts have an odor and I understand it not being pleasant, but purposely avoiding or warning others hurts.

· The iPod is one of the greatest inventions of all time.

· I look at the red dress on my wrist and I feel like a failure some days.

· I was watching Scoo.by D.oo last night with Lan, and the episode had Ca.ss Elli.ot on it, she owned a chocolate factory. It would take more than two hands to count the number of fat jokes that were on the episode. I cringed every time they made one and it made me more upset each time. I know that lately I’ve been hyper-sensitive about things, but it really bothered me the whole night and I was thinking about it when I was trying to fall asleep. I think that is what pushed me over the edge and now I’m spitting out all this stuff, the container of holding in thoughts and emotions is full and things are now overflowing…

There are some more things that have been bothering me, but I just can’t reach into that container and pull them out right now, but I’m glad I got the ones that were on the edge out.

Ugh, look at that… I have just typed and deleted the same sentence three times—the sentence was apologizing for my buzz kill rant. But you know what, I’m not sorry for my words, I’m am sorry that you chose to read my blog and it was nothing funny or entertaining, but just the sad thoughts swirling in my head. I hope my next post I will have a funny story…