By now most everyone knows that I'm having weight loss surgery (WLS), I'm having a procedure called vertical sleeve gastrectomy, basically they are taking out 80-85% of my stomach. And you know what... I can't wait!
I can remember years ago, after failing another diet, I wished that someone would just take out my stomach so I couldn't eat--wow, be careful what you wish for!
At this moment, things seem so surreal, I can't believe I'm blogging about this, I can't believe my dad is arriving (4 hours late), I can't believe that I'm on a surgery roster somewhere and the hospital is expecting in me the morning, I can't believe that I'm handed this awesome opportunity, I can't believe...

I'm looking down on my tattoo as a I pause to wipe the tears away, and I just can't help but wonder what my mom would say to all of this. I know she'd be a nervous wreck, but would she agree with it? Would she be jealous that she didn't have it? Would she lock me in a room and not let me go to the hospital? I just wish I had 5 minutes to talk to you...

How is this all going to change me? Will I love myself finally? Will I have the courage to do things that I've been afraid to do for fear of the 'fat girl' embarrassing herself? Will I smile without seeing my fat cheeks pushing up the sides of my eyes? Will I look at my whole face in the mirror and not just look at my eyes when I put on makeup (or just my cheeks for blush, etc), will I not run down the frozen food isles at grocery stores b/c I don't want to see my reflection in the doors? Will I finally step out from behind the camera and have a picture taken next to the beautiful places I've seen (proof that I've really been there, LOL)? Will I...

Too many emotions and too many questions and too much time before my dad arrives. I just need to try to get some sleep and let tomorrow come and begin a new chapter in this crazy life of mine.

Stay tuned...