Wow, where in the hell did 2007 go? Oh, wait, I know... it was spent stressing out about selling the townhouse and building the new house. I also spent it not taking care of myself mentally, physically or emotionally. I watched another year go by being miserable and whining to my friends about how miserable I was. Every year, every birthday, every day, every hour, I 'wish' for something better.
Let's define 'better'. I have this idea that somewhere behind the scenes of my life that there is a stack a dominos (this is the only way I can explian it). Each domino is a different 'wish'. The dominos are lined up like this: lose weight->be noticed by men -> dates -> share stories with my friends about my dates (like they used to do) -> fall madly in love -> spend my life with a wonderful guy; there is also another branch off of 'lose weight' -> gain confidence -> be wonderfuly creative -> have my work sold in galleries -> make enough money to pay of joel -> make $ to travel and take pictures in all corners of the World -> meet a man... blah, blah, blah. But these dominos are false. Do I live in a movie? No, this is 'real life', nothing works out that way, and the sooner that I can wake up and be honest with myself, I can actually move forward and not live in some crazy magic land. Last night while waiting for folks to come over, I came up with a list of things I want to change in my life.
  1. I will not make myself feel insignificant because of other people's actions
  2. If people don't have time or respect for me, it will be reciprocated. I'm done waiting on folks.
  3. I am smart, funny and a good person
  4. Be healthy, I am worth it.
  5. You will not be defined by what others do or not do.
  6. It is okay that you don't want to be a mother.
  7. Be creative, let things flow, don't analyze.
  8. Sell you work, sell your creativity. Present yourself to others like you see yourself in your head.
  9. Smile! So what if your face is fat; that will change in time.
  10. Shop wisely, make your $ go further. Make it work for you.
  11. Wear lip color.
  12. BE HAPPY!!! I DESERVE IT!!!

So, there it is, my list--THE LIST. I need to live by this, I need to take it day by day, moment by moment. 2008 is going to be a great year! MY YEAR!