The Mad Happenings of a Glass Princess

I must share last night...

I was looking forward all day to coming home to a clean house, I hired some girls to come in and scrub the place down, and boy did they do that! The house looks and smells awesome--no stinky dog. On my way home from getting a hair cut and picking up the dogs, I really was craving a pizza, not sure why, but it was just eating at me and I wanted one bad. So I called a local pizza joint and picked up a pizza on the way home.
After walking around my house in utter amazement (it actually looks like it is 'suppose' to, like how I wanted it too), I sat down to eat. And I ate, and ate, and ate--I got a 'personal' pizza, 9" and ate the whole damn thing. I was just chewing the very last bite when I get a knock at the door. It was Jodie and Landon to check out the place! Before I showed them around, i had to get the scoop from Landon on gymnastics (check out pics here). Now, if you have spent any time with Lan at all you know that he has the best facial expressions, and he talks with his eyes. As soon as I asked him about his class, his eyes got as big as saucers and his excitement grew. It is so fun listening to him tell stories--he gets these looks that just crack you up. We walk around the house looking at all the stuff that is sparkling clean and my stomach is just laughing at me for eating that pizza. We end up in the living room, and Lan is showing me some of the moves from class and Brody has one of his looks going on like "What the hell is this kid doing?" and Samson is tying to sniff his piggies and give him a kiss. Lan just cracks up. They soon leave and I'm fall down on the couch holding my stomach.
Why, why did I eat pizza? (Oh! I failed to mention that I have had an upset stomach with multiple trips to the bathroom over the last few days--yeah, not smart of me).
I watch a few TV shows, trying not to move cause I think if I do, I might throw up on the clean floor. Finally at 10ish, I pick myself up and head to bed hoping that sleep will make it all go away. At 10:15, the phone rings...
NB: Damnit. I guess I need to answer that, it might be Caryn (she is the friend that is coming in this weekend). I look at the phone, it is Kelli. Why is she calling me so late?
NB: "hello?"
Kelli: "Hi, Auntie Cole. Caitlyn is crying so we called you"
NB: "is she okay? why is she crying?"
Kelli: "She just started crying and said she missed you. She is crying really hard"
NB: "She is crying cause she misses me?" (My heart breaks a little bit)
Kelli: "yeah, she just started crying and now she is hiding under the blankets and won't talk"
--we talk for a little bit and then Kelli puts the speaker phone on--
NB: "Shamus (a nick name I have for Caitlyn), what's wrong?"
Cait: "I miss you" (followed by extreme crying)
NB: "I miss you too Shamus, I love you"
Cait: (crying)
NB: "Kelli, please give Caitlyn a hug for me"
Kelli" Okay" Starts to squeeze Caitlyn tight and is grunting
NB: "Tighter, harder, squeeze, give her a big hug"
Cait: Laughing now
Kelli "Oh no! she is purple! Auntie Cole, I squeezed her too hard, she is purple!"
NB: "No! Hurry, give her kisses to wake her up!"
Kelli: kissing her
Cait: Belly laughing
Kelli: "she is okay"
Cait: "I love you Auntie Cole"
NB: "I love you more"
Cait: "NO!! I love you MORE!"
NB: "You won!"
--Kelli proceeds to tell Caitlyn that nobody ever wins 'I love you more' with Auntie Cole and this makes her laugh more. The whole time this is going I'm thinking of how great Kelli is with her and how much Caitlyn trusts Kelli. They are wonderful sisters and I hope that never changes. (Stacy and I were pretty brutal to each other growing up, we are best friends now, but it was NOT always like that)--
NB: "it is late girls. go to bed. I love you both"

and with that, I turned off the light and I begin to cry over how much I miss THEM.

this morning I had to call Stacy and see what was up with all of that last night. She said that it came out of no where and Caitlyn just started crying--I had to ask if she had a premonition that something happened to me. Stacy laughed and said 'no'. I was just double checking...

(P.S. My stomach is still killing me)

So, I was trying to find a file on my computer and I came across some puppy pictures of Brody when he spent his first weekend away from me at Joe and Carolyn's house. And then I came across this video that Carolyn took... there is no sound, but you get the picture. So funny...


My Ears Flop Around! from N. Bolinger on Vimeo.

Okay, I've lost it. I'm tired of being cooped up in this house and I'm tired of watching TV and I'm tired of sleeping and I'm tired of working on my laptop (I want my desk at work) and I'm tired of being weak and I'm tired of coughing and I'm tired of ZERO human interaction. I have made two laps around the kitchen area, down the hall, into the dinning room and back around again. I'm looking for something to do that will not take too much of my strength and I'm getting pissed. I've had it. I'm done.

I have finally broke the 99 degree mark. I hit 98.7 early this morning and I did a half jump (then followed by alot of coughing). It was like I was Doc Brown in 'Ba.ck To Th.e Fu.ture' --"88 miles per hour!" but of course it was 98.7 degrees and not speed, but close enough, you get my point! The important thing to take away from this is that I am now holding under 99 and not my stupid attempt at jokes.
LOL, yes, the flu has gotten to my brain, along with being couped up in this house. I love this house, but I'm sick of these walls. I try to get up and do things, but I'm just spent after about 5 minutes. The thought of even climbing the stairs to check on the kilns from this weekend wears me out. I ran by Jodie's earlier to drop off a purse & some beads, and just the few minutes I spoke with her, Jill and her mom were awesome! Human interaction. Oh man, that is just sad.
It honestly feels like all the energy is being drained from my toes and finger tips. I have none, I'm trying to will myself better, I'm not eating crap, I'm sleeping more than a human should, but still I'm so weak. The flu sucks.

Okay, seriously, I took some picture frames out of the closet to see what size prints I need to make, and that wore me out. I'm going to crash on the couch and I hope to make it to work tomorrow. Later...

Yes, I have it, the flu has hit this house. This place is one big germ right now and I just want to walk around with a can of disinfectant and hit every surface.
Last night the chills and body aches set in. I forgot how horrible those were. My temp reached 102.5 last night, that broke about 2 am, but never really dropped below 99. I have taken 'fever reducer' ever 4 to 6 hours and I cannot get it below 99.0 degrees. CANNOT. It is killing me b/c I know every time I see that number, that means a minimum of another 24 hours I have to stay out of work. My new management has been cool about it, they understand, but basically I'm using vacation right now, which sucks, but a necessary evil.
I sent the boys off to daycare this morning, I don't think I should have been driving (or drive again to pick them up), but they really needed to get out and get some exercise. It is funny though, I really miss them; I hated taking a nap without them today, the house seems so quiet. I want my babies back. LOL
Okay, I'm going to try to do some dishes. It might take me 2 hours, but I'm going to attempt it. The look of this house is making me even more sick, it really is kinda gross right now --not LOL.

I read an article the other day about how dogs can become so in-tune with their owners that they can even detect if they have cancer, about to have a seizure, or even low blood sugar. Luckily, I don't have any of those, but they can tell when I'm just not feeling well. Last night I had one of those cleansing cries, the kind that you cry over stuff that has happened since your last good cry, you know:
-the economy sucks
-scared about the new job
-stubbed my toe last week
-feeling horrible about a friend's loss
-worrying about missing so many days at your new job
-etc
I was crying HARD, which made me more snotty than I already was, which made me feel even worse, etc. Well, as I was bawling away, Brody quietly jumped up on the bed, laid down next to me and just let me know he was there for me. That made me cry even harder. Brody and I have been together for 6.5 years, we know each other well, and at that moment he knew i needed some love and he gave it to me without asking for anything in return. That freakin dog rocks.
(and as I type this, he is at my feet, under the desk, loyal as ever)

So, this post was suppose to me ranting about why in the hell I gained .6 lbs this week and didn't loose after all the walking and gym going and eating well I did. But you know, I'm just damn happy that i did all those things, and b/c in the end, that is what will make my heart better and the weight will drop off eventually.
And I am craving a hot choc from Star.bucks sooo bad and I started to justify it in my head-
1)you are sick, it will make you feel better
2) it is that time of the month, it will make you feel better
3) you ate well all week it didn't seemed to help, so go for it, it will make you feel better.

there you have it, the inner workings of Nicole's mind. Scary place huh?

Jodie texts me last night and said "Go read 'The Life of L'". I was all snuggled up on the couch with Sammy, so I didn't call it up until this morning.
I sat here reading it with my jaw hitting the table. She is writing about the VERY struggles I deal with everyday. Scary when you read the words of the emotions you are feeling. It is also comforting in a strange way knowing that I am not alone in this world feeling these things, that I'm not so weak or lost like I feel most days.
I think I'm going to head up to the studio and turn these feelings into art...

(and 'thank you' to Jodie who knows me well enough to point me in the right direction, even if they aren't her own words)

Yes, it IS 3:15am and I am blogging. Would anyone like a large black dog? Free! Actually, I would pay you right about now to take him.
Okay, this is the story...
I have (another f'in) sinus infection, and I received some really good drugs from the doc. It hit me earlier that the last time I had drugs to drain like this, my eye got infected (see here), well, I have been up all night panicking that every time I fall asleep my eye is getting infected and I have to wipe it down with a wet cloth. So, needless to say, I have had crappy sleep.
Oh yeah, so speaking of crap, that is where that black dog comes in. So, I'm tossing and turning, wiping my eyes every 5 minutes and I smell something. Am I really smelling that or am I just hallucinating from lack of sleep? Nope, I smell it.
Now, before you pick up your new dog, let me share a little fact about him, he likes to walk and poo at the same time. He will 99.9999% of the time do this outside, but tonight(@2:15 am) he decided to do it down the little hall way in my bedroom. And I as I go investigate what the smell is (without turning on lights), I walk down that hallway...
yes, folks, i'm going to leave the dirty (very &#$*%@^ disgusting, I'm going to beat the rest of the crap that is in you out of you, I did not just do that, ohmygosh I can't walk anywhere, I'm going to cry where I'm standing) details out...
So, who wants a black dog?

What a fun weekend I had. It was filled with some time in the Studio and lots of time with friends.
On Saturday, I took the boys for a walk, ran a few errands, hit the studio for a few (yeah, that piece didn't come out) and then went to Matteo's first birthday party. Had a blast. It was fun to see all the kiddos trying to walk around and playing and eating cake and just having fun. It could not have been a better day outside; it was perfect weather to sit outside on Carolyn's porch and listen to all the laughter. My eating was pretty good as well. I did have some cake and ice cream, but I didn't go over the top. I could have done much worse, but I'm sure I could have done better too. I was at her house for a while, and I closed my day out with some TV and going to bed early (I'm such an old person--LOL).

On Sunday, I started the day with another walk with the boys, it was way more humid than the day before and the boys were hurting once we got home. Brody was doing his flip-flopping on the tile trying to cool down. I made a yummo breakfast, did some cleaning and then ended up falling alseep for a few hours. I woke up in time to get a shower and get over to Mel's house for the Super Bowl. At their house, I was not as good with my eating. I wasn't too smart going over to their house hungry, but also curse those people for making good food. I am proud of myself for not getting the Ranger Cookies that I had in our grocery basket, I put them back at the last minute. As I was getting ready for bed last night, I was thinking that I know I would have had at least 5 of those cookies--they are just THAT good, and I was in a munchy mood last night, it would not have been pretty. Anyway, we had a great time watching the Super Bowl and commercials, oh and that other show on ABC, we laughed and laughed and laughed. It was just so nice to hang out. (I really miss everyone).

I want to talk about WOEing, but I'll start a new post for that...