The Mad Happenings of a Glass Princess

I have been called a handful of things over my 35 years, but I think a new name has found me: 'lost dog women'
so, I was taking the dogs for our usual walk tonight and just as we were rounding the back side of our walk, a dog runs across the street and then stops to look at my boys. As you well know my boys were having none of a dog just standing in front of them, they started to go nuts. The dog backed up, but my boys still wanted to 'see him'. As I was dragging the boys to move on, I saw that the dog had a collar, but I kept moving, I wouldn't chance Brody getting too near. As I moved down the street, a wave of guilt came over me--another lost dog. Sigh. I was coming up to Danny's house and I told myself that if he was home, I would see if he could watch the boys while I went back to see if I could find that dog. Danny's house was dark, but he was home. So, I ring the door bell, he comes to the door with a shocked look on his face. I explain to him what is going on, ask him if I can leave the boys in his backyard, borrow a flashlight, I take Brody's leash and set out to find this dog.
I hightail it back to where the dog was. I'm whistling and making kissing sounds trying to weed him out. No luck. I go further down the street, and I find him... he was safely back behind an iron fence, he had just gotten out of his yard, his mommy and daddy found him. As I walk back to Danny's house, I feel good about going back after the dog, there was no way I would have been able to sleep tonight if I knew I had left that dog out there. I arrive back at Danny's, I collect my dogs and I continue my walk...

Am I disappointed in myself? Yes
Will I dwell on it? No
Should I make an appointment for the therapist? Yes
Will I do better this week? Yes

Okay, will someone please explain to me where this weekend went? I don't want to go back to work tomorrow, I still have some things to do around here.

This weekend was pretty good, quiet. All my peeps blew me off though, I declared Saturday an art day, but I was all alone up in the studio :(
It is okay, I understand that folks have things going on, I definitely don't expect everyone to come running cause I called an art day. LOL.
My art day started pretty good, I finally took pictures of a failure that I had in the kiln earlier in the week and posted them to a board to ask some opinions. I'm such a glass geek--I was so excited when folks jumped on it and gave me some great advice. I had some of THE BEST glass artists in North American answering my questions--it just doesn't get better than that. I then headed up to the studio. I was trying to cut an oval and was having ZERO luck, I was getting so frustrated that I switched to creating another strip plate. I can kick some serious butt now on cutting strips. Sorry Mel, you're fired. LOL. I also created a few pendants that are soooo cute that I want to wear all of them at the same time and I made another plate from some glass that was purchased in Austin during Girls Weekend. LOVE ALL OF IT.
I really need to get all the glass up there organized, it was driving me a little nuts seeing what I did and did not have. And I also realized that I need to order some larger sheets of glass too.

My weekend ended with Metro coming over and helping me finish up the living room painting. I couldn't get up in peaks of the walls, he brought his huge ladder over and got up there for me. It looks awesome, no more 5" border by the top where the paint ended. I really should paint the guest rooms and the office, but I have zero desire to do so. I know it would look so good if I did, but I will have to talk myself into that during another weekend.

As for Cracking, I did not have a very good week. For some reason, if it wasn't glued down it went right into the pie hole. I don't know if it is b/c I'm feeling a little sick, or I just have zero will power. I have decided to do week 3 over, I'm just going to put this one behind me and keep moving forward. That is the only thing I can do now, just need to learn from it.
I was talking to my dad this weekend, and he received the death certificates from my mom that we had to re-order for some stuff that he is trying to do. He said it was really hard to see them and there were 5 items listed for the cause of death. The 'top' cause was obesity. Ouch. When he said that it felt like a knife in my gut. He quickly changed the subject after that, I could tell he was getting upset. After I hung up with him, I just stared at my tattoo for about 5 minutes. I have become used to the tattoo and I don't notice anymore, and I can't let that happen. I need to look down at it daily to remind myself that I need to get heart healthy.

Oh! Speaking of heart health, I got an email from the Galveston art people asking for me to donate a piece of art to the Galveston chapter of the American Heart Association for a silent auction. Oh hell yes am I going to participate! I'm excited about it. I need to think of something good for it.

Well, that is about it for this weekend. I hope to have a more focused week eating, work and studio wise this week. Send me positive vibes.

Last night about o'dark-hundred Brody started barking at something that was outside, there was no way that Samson could be refrained from checking out what Brody was barking at--soon, both of them were going nuts. I rolled over, buried my head, cursing them to shut the bloody hell up. They would settle down for a few, and then would start up again. This went on for hours last night. Yes, I am grumpy.
This morning, when I was making my eggs, they started going nuts at the side door again. This time I pushed them both out the way to see what in the world was going on. Just as I approached the door, I saw a dog running from my carport down the street. My heart broke.
I instantly grabbed my phone and went outside, I had caught a glimpse of a collar. She instinctively ran away from me, tail between her legs, her body squatted down and she was limping horribly. Uggg, my heart was breaking more. I ran back inside, got some 'cookies' and went over by the car port to see where she had slept. There was a nice pile of dog hair all curled up between my car and the garage door. How sad was that. I then went down the street towards the cul-de-sac with my 'cookies', 'treats', 'bones', 'snacks' (I was trying every name in the book) to get her to come over to me. No luck. Just as I was about to turn back and get the number of animal control, a neighbor pulled up next to me asking if that was my dog.
nb: "no, found her this morning under my carport, trying to get her tag id"
neighbor 1: "I saw her last night when I got home from work, she was limping bad"
nb: "yeah, she is really hurt. I'm about to call Animal Control"
neighbor 1: "good luck"
nb: thinking to herself--"really, you saw her last night and didn't do anything about it. jerk"
I went back inside, hoping that she wouldn't run the other direction down the street, and got the phone number. I left them a message, but they also said you can call the LC police (press #1 now), so I did that and got a dispatch gal. She was very nice, took all my info and said they would send a guy out there ASAP. Just as I was hanging up with her, the dog started to walk back down towards me. She started barking again when I was trying to approach her. At that point, other dogs in the 'hood started to go crazy too, followed by my white trash neighbor flying out of his front door shouting every cuss word possible about all the dogs barking. I just look at him and then tell him what is going on. He cusses a few more times, turns around and slams his door.
nb: asshole
the dog lays down in a drive way a few houses over, I feel as if she wasn't going anywhere, so I ran in the house finishing getting all my stuff together for work. As I was walking in the house, I was like 'so help me if Brody ate my eggs'. He hadn't, they were still sitting on the counter, but now very cold. I finished packing, got everything ready, grabbed my eggs and went back outside. I saw a 'city official' truck at the house next to mine, just across the street, I thought that was the animal guy, so I walked over there. He was the water guy, but he told me he had seen some posters on the other side of the subdivision and he went down the street to see if he could get the dog. I was a little ticked that he tried to go after her cause I knew the AC guys were on the way, but what could I do.
He chased her to a fence and then he started to walk out with her following him. I had no clue how he did it, but he almost had her in his truck. She then took off down the street out of the cul-de-sac. UGGGG, wrong way butt-head. Just as she was running by my house, the wife of the White Trash came out and was yelling about what was going on. Really lady? it is now 8:30, get your ass up and go to work. She then tells me that she saw that dog last night too, but didn't do anything about it. Niiiice. A few months back, both of her dogs got out, I rounded them up and got them back over to her. So glad that you 'pay it forward'.
As I was staring her down with daggers, the AC guy pulled up and chased her down and got her. I let out a huge sigh, was thankful that I did something good, and headed to work. Before I left the subdivision, I decided to see if I could find some of those posters. I was able to locate one and I called the number on it.
The guy was very interested that I had seen her. I had to tell him that I called AC on the dog, but he wasn't mad at all, he appreciated what I had done. I also told him that she looked hurt, and he was very concerned about that. He couldn't thank me enough and said he was going straight over to LC animal shelter to pick her up.
I just drove to work with a HUGE smile on my face knowing that I made someones day better by helping to his dog. But waves of anger and sadness would crash over me now and again at the thought that NOBODY helped this dog. That they saw she was hurt and they just rushed into their homes discarding her. The thought that Sammy, or Brody, or Brady, or Aussie, or G-Man, or Thumper of being hurt and lost and no one caring just kills me. I ache at the thought.
So, the lesson of the day... please help a stray dog with at least a phone call to the Animal Shelter or to me and I'll take care of it.

I got the ick. I hope I don't have it too bad. I have been gloating that I didn't get sick after Chicago b/c I've been taking care of myself, but I guess I couldn't out run the January Crud.
I felt horrible this morning, but as the day went on (and a very long hot shower), I'm feeling better. It is all in my sinuses and drainage (I would like to drill a hole in my forehead).

I also scummed to comfort food today. I really wanted just oatmeal this morning, so that is what I had, no protein, but that is okay, one day is not going to kill me.

On another note, I was able to watch all the Inaugural coverage from the comfort of my couch--it was really cool to see. Not that I'm all up in politics or anything, but to see our country's history and traditions in action was pretty darn cool. As they were showing the capital, I couldn't help think of the 'family' trip we took last spring and how much fun we had. DC is really a cool place to visit and tour and you could just see the excitement of all the people there waiting to see the new president. This country truly is THE BEST place to live and I'm glad I got to watch all that today (even if I felt poo like).

I had a very productive weekend and I'm very happy with what I completed. I got the hallways painted and my master bedroom (had to finish cutting in), but the living room, up by the peaks are still unfinished (booo). Scaffolding or something might need to be called in to finish things up. I truly forgot how much I hated to paint, but it was clear to me Sunday morning when I felt like I was hit by a truck. It must have been a good workout, cause my tush hurt, my arms, my back, etc. I'm getting too old. LOL

On Sunday, I went to go see Matthew Venditti, he is soooo cute! Chrissy and John are glowing parents, it was fun to watch them beam over him. Chrissy was hurting, so I hope she feels better soon. I've been watching Brady for them (their dog); he cracks me up cause he just goats Samson. Today I was in the studio and Brady would go behind the walls and it would drive Samson crazy cause he couldn't figure out where he was or where he was going next. Samson is such a goof ball, he would look at me with those silly eyes and I could tell he wanted me to tell Brady to stop, but I would just encourage him more and it would start all over. LOL

I also got out and did a few errands, followed up by two miles out at the small trail. I have no clue what is going on, but my hip hurts soooooo bad. It feels really deep in my hip and it bothered me after the Pumpkin Run in Oct too, but I think it is worse this time. I was walking into my bedroom earlier and I noticed that I was limping (bad) and I had to stop to realize what I was really doing, it scared me to be honest. I'm moving like Brody. (semi-LOL). I guess I need to call Miracle Max up (Oh! I have insurance again! YAY!) and see if he can work his mojo on me. I really want to do the OKC 1/2 in April with Jodie's family, and if I'm hurt after 2 miles on day 1 of training, I'm in big trouble. BIG TROUBLE!

Oh! it is 9:00! New episodes of Paranormal State are on. Time to be scared out of my gourd!

So, I made a fatal error this morning...
I had put my scale on the top shelf of my closet, vowing that I'd only take it down on weigh-in days. I have been good for the last 3 days, until this morning. I was thinking about my 'going to 4N' lunch today and what I was going to eat; I wanted to know what my progress was to give me a boost into staying on course--WHATEVER! I was up 1.3 from my weigh-in on Monday. I know the body goes thru ups and downs, but that is not what I needed to see. Ugg, I'm stressing over it now. Dumb, stupid, idiot move I did.

I am so predictable. It started yesterday at work, bothered me on the way home and right about dinner time, it happened...The Great Diet Panic!

As I was preparing dinner and trying to bring myself back down, I ran into the office, called up my blog and looked back, yup, it was about this time into when I started this path to be healthy that I freaked out. Why do I do this? What is it about the progress that makes me so afraid? That I will actually make it this time? That I won't have anything to bitch about anymore? LOL. I think this freak out was because I was worried I wasn't following the program correctly. I really wanted to stick with it and get the most out of it that I could, and not do it half ass. I re-read week 2 in the book and I started to question every little thing and it snow-balled out of control. Poof, Nicole in full freak out mode! I was trying to bring myself back down by saying things like "even if you are doing this half-ass, you are still doing something, so that is okay" or "you'll have your friends even if you fail again". What is that shit. That was making me feel worse and those were MY thoughts.
I swear, it is like I'm banging my head against the wall. When am I going to learn that this is my life, and only I can change it. My friends/family are my co-pilots and can help me navigate the pitfalls, but I'm the one really in control. PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS NOW NICOLE! I'm a freakin' broken record. E N O U G H.

On a completely different note, I have been trying to wear a necklace everyday. It is weird and I'm trying to get used to it, but I think if I'm going to create them, I should wear them too! Right? I'm trying to do the lipstick thing too, but for some reason, that is just much harder for me.

...these are the random thoughts of Nicole today.

Cucumbers: I forgot how much I like them. For a while I had to stop eating them cause I would be burping them up for hours, but for some reason, my system likes them again. I have been putting them on my salad and I have been putting more and more on each passing day when I realize they aren't haunting me all afternoon! Yay to cucumbers!

Great Dane Paws: That damn Samson! I swear he waits for me fall asleep and then he jumps on the bed. Sometimes I feel it, but most of the time he is sneaky enough to get out there without me noticing. One morning last week, I woke up he was at the foot of the bed with a look on his face like "ha! you didn't even know I was here!" (and I didn't). However, last night he decided that it was cold and he curled up next to me (didn't know he was there--YET), and at some point in the night, he didn't want to be curled up anymore, so he decided to un-curl and threw his legs right into me--I then knew he was there. Damn dog, woke me up from a deep sleep. I was so mad and I kicked him off, but he waited again until I fell asleep and the cycle started over...

Controlled Access: So today I was taught a lesson in Gov't paper work. For the last 12+ years, I have taken for granted that I had a picture badge and had access to the places where I needed to go, but now, I have a paper badge with my license and have ZERO access. I'm working console today and needed to get into mission control. I went like a good girl to security to get access, but after a looong wait, I realized that it would just not be happening today. I then took my paper NASA badge, my dignity and crashed Carolyn's staff meeting to ask(/beg) for someone to walk over to console with me and let me in the damn door. (of course, later, carolyn asked me why I just didn't get one of the other backroom people to let me in--I don't know, I don't think of those things!). I'll be back at security today to finish things up--fun for me.

Other items:
Cracking is going well. I can already tell a difference in my body--I'm not bloated and ick. I am also noticing that I am getting fuller with each meal, and that I need to cut back the size of my portions (never thought I'd do that). Oh! Crack funny! I get to have 2 carbs today before 3pm. I knew my first one was going to be EZ bread this mo with my eggs, but I couldn't decide on my second one. How could I NOT pick a carb--good lordy, all I have been doing for the last week is DREAM of carbs, and I didn't know what I wanted. Nothing that I had prepped the other night really worked with another carb, so I had to be creative. I thew some black beans (1/2 cup to be exact) in my salad. I'm eating it right now and it YUMMMMOO. I love the flavor and the texture that it is giving. I'll have to keep that on my list of tricks for the future.

I need to jump back into the glass studio. I don't know why I feel like I'm avoiding that place. I really enjoyed being up there before x-mas, and the ideas were flowing. Maybe I need to kidnap Jodie and just put her up there for an afternoon and see if that gets the creative juices flowing again. LOL.

I have been taking the dogs for walks in the morning and in the evenings over the last few days. They love it and I learned that if I walk in the street, far enough away from the grass, the dogs won't sniff and I can book it and get my heart rate up. Last night I did this, and Brody looked over his shoulder like "what the hell lady, I'm trotting just to keep the required distance in front of you, take it easy"
The were huffing by the time we got home. Good, Brody has been getting a little thick in the gut over the years, he can work some of that off. Samson was showing me his boney butt wondering why I was pushing him. LOL. Huh, maybe the paws in my back lastnight were payback...

Do you have those days that you just wake up with a mental list and when you complete that list plus some it feels sooooo freakin' good! I had one of those days! I am so 'proud' of myself. LOL.

My day started with Travis coming over and fixing my electrical problem to the dishwasher. Yeah he found the same problem people have been telling me over the years--I had a screw loose! Oh well, $235 later, what am I going to do... cry, that is what I'm going to do. On the other hand, my princess self is in full bloom again, and I have that thing filled up and running damn it! How did I ever live without it. (Dish-pan hands suck)

I then borrowed Jodie's Sam's card and hit that place pretty good. I had ONE item that I was determined to get, yeah, you guessed it, I forgot it. I wanted really nice plastic food container things. I was going to be one step closer to being just like Jodie. Oh well, I guess I will have to wait.
I then hit Wal-Mart, got a few things there, some food for the week and some glue to try out a really cool technique the girls learned on their trip to Austin.
At 3, I headed over to Carolyn's and let the boys play for a while with Aussie and his two friends that were staying with him. They had a blast. They are currently out cold on the floor of the office, I love it when they are at my feet.
After I got home from Carolyn's I grilled out some steak, made some broccoli and celebrated my last freakin' day of carb deplete. Heaven help me, I did it! I went a whole week, per the plan, meal by freakin' meal. I am so excited for toast tomorrow. You have NO idea.
Once dinner was over, I started to cut veggies and cooked some other items for breakfast/lunch this week. I was so happy just preparing food in the kitchen. All natural stuff, nothing coming from a can or is blah brown. There were pretty greens of cucumbers & lettuce, huge mushrooms and fresh chicken. Again, I loved it and I had fun. My lunch is all packed for tomorrow and I have dinner practically ready as well.
I cleaned up from all that, carried a whole load out to the recycle bin, washed my face and sat down to write all of this.
I am actually looking forward to weigh-in tomorrow, see how I did for the week. I hope once I have some carbs, my energy level will increase some and i can hit the gym this week. I would like to start running again and maybe do some strength training. I hate the thought of paying for the gym and not using it. (I now measure $s in the amount of glass or the fun tools I can buy. The thought of that $235 going out the door because of a freakin' loose screw really chaps my tush. Okay, I'm moving on...)

Oh! I saw my therapist on Thursday. I forgot how much she really helps me. Not that blogging doesn't feel good either, it is just that she really tells me to pull my head out of my ass. Jodie and Sandy do the same, but it is different when it comes from her. She gave me some homework to do which involves going outside my comfort zone--I think leaving bld 35 and starting a new job is enough for me for the next month or so!

Oh Oh! I had a great first week of work. Things are very different in the CS world vs the contractor world. It will be an adjustment, but I think I have alot to offer coming from the contractor world and can see things from different sides. And the emails that I get. Man, there are alot of perks that the CS's get that the contractors never know about. Like causeway passes for launches! Contractors can be in the car, but cannot be holding or using the pass. I'm thinking road trip in the future!

final thought for the night...
Note to self: Do not ride in the car when either Kim or Sandy are driving! I found out that I don't have insurance for another week. I was shocked to say the least and have been watching for falling objects and sharp edges (yeah, don't go to the studio).

good night friends. Hugs to all of you. (Even those who hate them (you know who you are)).

Would I love a small bag of M&M's (they are in the branch office), or a handful of Rollo's (in Lisa's office) or a sucker (about 5 feet to the left of me), Yes, I would love to be chowing on all of those, but it is not worth it. I really like Jill's plan (Jodie's sister) of paying herself $50 a week by meeting some minimum goals. I'm just thinking of how much fun I would have shopping when I get to take it out of the piggy bank. So, M&M's, Rollo's and a sucker is not worth $50 to me. I just now have to think of goals for each week to earn the $50. I think vacuuming should be high on the list! LOL
I also am going to redo the right side of the blog for my weight loss. I like being held accountable for things. I have changed my weigh in date from Wednesday to Mondays. It was really hard to weigh in during the middle of the week, but have each food week start over on a Monday. I don't want shift the food schedule over b/c then my 'cheat' days don't fall on a Saturday. So confusing I tell ya.

The new job is going well. I feel like I'm sitting in the wrong seat, like I'm a stranger in a strange land. Things are different over here in 4N as compared to 35. I do have a window, so that makes it really nice. I'm the new IM weather girl--reporting to those who still are stuck in a windowless building. It is a amazing how much natural sunlight makes your day better. I still have not unpacked my boxes yet, I've been picking things out of them as I need it. I need to re-arrange a few things too, I don't like where my CPU is or my phone, I need to move them over to the other side of the hutch, that will be a big pain in the tush, so I've been avoiding that. I am very lucky that I know my office mate from 'way back when', and he has been very kind to me.

Lunch is now over, so I'm going to wrap it up here, put my salad bowl away and get ready for a meeting. later...

So, it has been exactly one month since I have posted to my blog. How sad. The only excuse I have is pure laziness.

I cannot believe that it is 2009. Where did 2008 go? (didn't I say that about 2007 too?)
I have so many thoughts going into this year, but most of them are repeats of the last 15 years, give or take a few, and I'm not going to write out the 'woe is me' list again, I'm tired of all the complaining.

I do however want to point a few things out that I have noticed...
1) I love my family, but I could never live within driving distance of them.