I am so predictable. It started yesterday at work, bothered me on the way home and right about dinner time, it happened...The Great Diet Panic!
As I was preparing dinner and trying to bring myself back down, I ran into the office, called up my blog and looked back, yup, it was about this time into when I started this path to be healthy that I freaked out. Why do I do this? What is it about the progress that makes me so afraid? That I will actually make it this time? That I won't have anything to bitch about anymore? LOL. I think this freak out was because I was worried I wasn't following the program correctly. I really wanted to stick with it and get the most out of it that I could, and not do it half ass. I re-read week 2 in the book and I started to question every little thing and it snow-balled out of control. Poof, Nicole in full freak out mode! I was trying to bring myself back down by saying things like "even if you are doing this half-ass, you are still doing something, so that is okay" or "you'll have your friends even if you fail again". What is that shit. That was making me feel worse and those were MY thoughts.
I swear, it is like I'm banging my head against the wall. When am I going to learn that this is my life, and only I can change it. My friends/family are my co-pilots and can help me navigate the pitfalls, but I'm the one really in control. PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS NOW NICOLE! I'm a freakin' broken record. E N O U G H.
On a completely different note, I have been trying to wear a necklace everyday. It is weird and I'm trying to get used to it, but I think if I'm going to create them, I should wear them too! Right? I'm trying to do the lipstick thing too, but for some reason, that is just much harder for me.
As I was preparing dinner and trying to bring myself back down, I ran into the office, called up my blog and looked back, yup, it was about this time into when I started this path to be healthy that I freaked out. Why do I do this? What is it about the progress that makes me so afraid? That I will actually make it this time? That I won't have anything to bitch about anymore? LOL. I think this freak out was because I was worried I wasn't following the program correctly. I really wanted to stick with it and get the most out of it that I could, and not do it half ass. I re-read week 2 in the book and I started to question every little thing and it snow-balled out of control. Poof, Nicole in full freak out mode! I was trying to bring myself back down by saying things like "even if you are doing this half-ass, you are still doing something, so that is okay" or "you'll have your friends even if you fail again". What is that shit. That was making me feel worse and those were MY thoughts.
I swear, it is like I'm banging my head against the wall. When am I going to learn that this is my life, and only I can change it. My friends/family are my co-pilots and can help me navigate the pitfalls, but I'm the one really in control. PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS NOW NICOLE! I'm a freakin' broken record. E N O U G H.
On a completely different note, I have been trying to wear a necklace everyday. It is weird and I'm trying to get used to it, but I think if I'm going to create them, I should wear them too! Right? I'm trying to do the lipstick thing too, but for some reason, that is just much harder for me.
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