The Mad Happenings of a Glass Princess

I want to talk about my most funnest (nice English, huh?) weekend with a great college friend. Kristenia emailed me late last week that she found an awesome fare out to Houston and asked if she could come see me. HEL-LLO, of course you can come out and see me, I love hanging out with friends! So she arrived at o'dark thirty Saturday morning and we proceeded to have a great weekend talking and laughing and shopping and getting tattoos!!! Okay, I got one, she took pictures, but it was still damn fun!

K and I are hanging out at the house thinking about grabbing some dinner and I mention how I've been wanting a tattoo of the American Heart Association red dress on my wrist; she promptly tells me that she's in to go getting it with me! So, we decid that we'll grab some dinner first and then we'll head to the tat place. (in hindsight, that probably wasn't the best plan, I thought I was going to puke during part of process).

We arrive at the tat place and I start to shake. I KNOW I want to do this, but the thought of the the needle on my wrist is making me very nervous. Anyway, we go in, tell them what I want, fill out some paper work and wait for him to get done doing some other stuff (all of that actually took longer than the tattoo did). Once he is ready, he gets some colors out, pulls out this needle that is HUGE, tapes this, rubber bands that, and the hooks up these alligator clips that look like small car battery jumpers--both K and my eyes were huge at that point. He asks me to sit on a stool, put my arm up on this padded bar and tells me not to move. (yeah, whatever). Then he starts this thing up--the sound is worse then a dentist drill (and feels worse too). The outlining of the dress begins...ohmygosh, the hot, sharp, pin being jabbed into your skin feeling sucks. I knew it would hurt, but I had no freakin' clue it would hurt that bad. I was very happy when he would stop to wipe off the ink before starting up again. That small amount of time allowed me to release some air and then brace for the pain again. I began to sweat and I was trying to focus on anything but the pain that was going into my wrist. And then it was over, all done and it was perfect! Exactly what I wanted, he was even able to have the heart on the dress, which was important to me.
Here are some pictures...

Ricky filling in the outline


me trying not to pass out


The finished product... a tribute to my mom and a reminder of why I need to make a life style change and stay healthy.



side note: I really wanted to put 'mom' under the dress before he shaded it in, but that wasn't really possible. I was also trying to figure out how I could put the letters "K B C" around the dress or under it, but I just decided to get the dress for now, i can always add more later.
FYI, 'K B C' stands for Kelli, Brendan, Caitlyn. The 3 number one reasons for me not to end up like their grandmother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I haven't blogged in a few days and 10,000 things have happened, just never had time to do it.
things that I've learned this week:

1) don't eat crap at a baseball game the night before a weigh in day
2) don't count your money before you get it in your hand
3) don't underestimate the power of a good nights sleep
4) don't exercise in the late evening and think you can still go to bed at 10
5) don't talk on your cell phone and drive on site at the same time.
6) don't think everything that comes out of the kiln will look perfect
7) don't underestimate the amount of slobber that can come out of a great dane mix
8) don't think you can keep a scale in your house and not use it
9) don't believe that allergy season is over
10) the best damn feeling in the world is jeans that fit straight from the dryer

There are tons of stories behind each one of these items, but I'm not going to get into any of them. However, I will get into the fact that I had another successful weight loss week and once again, I did not die or suffer or kick & scream the whole week. I'm slowing seeing this way of life--finding balance between eating right, making choices when options are limited and exercise. Even though I'm still 80lbs from my goal, I am already feeling stronger and leaner--that might sound funny considering my fat rolls, but its true. I feel like I have physical AND emotional strength that I did not have before. I had a moment earlier in the week where I had a small freak out, but I quickly shook it off and saw the better side of things. Oh! And I have also started a pile in my closet that is "too big to wear"--that is just so freakin' cool!

tomorrow is weigh-in day and tonight I'm headed to an Astro's game--not a good combo. But! I plan on being very good, no need to shove 'baseball' food in my mouth, I'm sure they have some chicken sandwiches. My day already didn't start off too well... someone brought fresh, hot donuts to the backroom, I have Z E R O will power and I had to have one (or two), but no more than two--promise! LOL I will just have to skip something tonight that I wanted. That is how I need to maintain a 'balance' in my life with food--get something bad now, you don't get something bad later too. Hey folks, its not rocket science :)
Oh! I also walked/ran this morning again. Oh my achy body, I PMSing so bad, and my body hurts from that and from working out/running. I could not run that much this morning, I could not make my body do that at such an un-godly hour. But I did end up doing 2 miles on the treadmill, again, most walking, but I did it!

1460 days... that is how long it has been since I have run!
I finally got my super duper, super hold, nothing is going to move while wearing it bra. My gosh, it is a steal trap; those girls aren't going anywhere.
So, last night, Jodie and I hit the gym about an hour before they closed. Jodie had to do 5 miles and needed to get my 2 miles in ; we head over to the treadmills and got started. Jodie is booking it almost immediately, and i have to start off walking at a grandma's pace and then I work my way up. After a few minutes, I was thinking that there was no reason why i couldn't run. So I picked up the speed some and I was running again! I decided to do 2 minutes running, 3 to 4 minutes of walking. The 2 minutes of running seemed to go on forever, but the three minutes of walking went by in a flash. time sucks that way!

but yay me!

Today Jodie asked me when I was going to blog. I told her that I had it open, but I just didn't have really anything to say. Things have been getting back to normal--no family, no classes, no weddings, pretty boring stuff. I really didn't have anything to share. She said the same thing and then we started talking about different stuff. She had suggested that we go shopping for some new clothes, my response was that that seems like a good idea considering things are getting big on me (yay!). I then told her a story about something that happened last night...it was decided after the story was over that this is what I should blog about...

I was explaining that I think I'm almost officially down a dress size. The stuff that I wear often is getting to big on me and it looks like I'm moving into the clothes that are one size down. I have these lounging pants/PJ bottoms whatever you want to call them and I LOVE 'EM. They are so comfy good, I wish I could wear them to work. So, after working out at the gym last night, I came home, took a shower and threw on these pants. They don't have draw string, they are just elastic. So, as I'm walking out of the bathroom, I notice how big they are on me. I proceed to stand in the middle of my room and shake my bum and hips so hard, the pants slide off of me! I was so tickled by what just happened, I had to do it again. I do it more violently this time along with plenty of sound effects (Brody didn't like that) and I laughed even harder. I pulled my pants on, smiled and went on my way...

Closing thoughts: I'm thoroughly enjoying these 'pants falling moments'. I have in the past have freaked out about things like that, but now I'm just finding them F U N. I couldn't wait to liberate my scale this morning--I was down 1lb (as posted to the right). I am extremely happy with my 1lb; I ate a bunch this weekend, I will fully admit that. I was careful at times not to go overboard, but wedding cake is just too good to pass up. I created a montage of pictures of myself when I had lost weight in the past--I'm going to hang it in my bathroom to help me remember that I've done this before and I can do it again!
Also, Jodie, Mel, Sandy and I have come up with a series of challenges to help us reach our goals. here is the schedule:
independence (to july 1) to jodie-versary (to july 31st)
jodie-versary (to july 31st) to nicole-day (sept 17)
nicole-day(sept 17) to SA Rock & Roll (nov 16)
SA Rock and Roll (nov 16) to mel's bday (dec 21st?)
we broke these up to help us and not make the challenge so long that we never get the fun rewards! we are such a reward motivated group :)
good job gals... let's keep up the good work!

Those damn dogs! What am I going to do with them. Hug 'em and kiss 'em and let the run all over me, that is what I'm going to do :)

So, I notice yesterday that Samson had extra ick around his right eye, I thought his allergies were just acting up and I went about my business. Then I came home from work last night and his eye was welded shut with green nastiness, the poor dog looked miserable. I cleaned his eye off, gave him a kiss and then we headed out for a walk. Later on that night, he was going nuts trying to 'scratch' his eye with his paw and he was also rubbing his face along the carpet trying to stop the itching. He looked so pathetic. He just crashed for the night after our walk, and the goop started to form again (yes, it is gross).
This morning, he was semi-welded shut again, his eye was way bigger and blood red. I could tell that if he was miserable last night, this morning was just unbearable for him. I had him at the vet by 9. Did you know that dogs could have pink eye? I sure didn't until this morning! My poor Sammy had a common case of conjunctivitis. $99.50 later and some really good drops, my Sammy should be good as new in a few days. And so help me if Brody catches it...

I didn't sleep very well last night, I couldn't shut my mind off. All I wanted was a good nights sleep and that didn't happen. I really think I should have just gotten up in the middle of the night and blogged, got everything out and then went back to bed.

I did something last night that I have NEVER done in my 34 years on this Earth. I decided I was going to have a lazy rest the night after I walked the dogs (note: Brody does not do well in this humidity, I thought I killed him last night). So, after I got home, I changed clothes, re-filled my tea and fell down on the couch. I was taping some shows, so I decided I would go ahead and watch those. I'm sitting there and something just doesn't seem right. And while I'm watching this show that was totally creeping me out, it was running in the back of my head that I needed to get up and do something. A few minutes go by and I'm still having this nagging feeling. A-HA! I'm not eating! I'm not just sitting here shoving food in my face as I watch TV. I wasn't hungry, but yet that automatic food to mouth motion wasn't happening and my body didn't know what to do. I sat there and thought about it, this was the first time since I've really started this life style change that I had a chance just to sit down and watch TV. I've been on the go so much, and people in and out of the house that I haven't had alone time. Wow, the habits that we have. So I watch a little more TV and then I some how convince myself that a WW 2 point ice cream sandwich sounds good. So I get up, grab one and fall back into the couch. I'm exactly 2 bites in when I realize that I'm NOT hungry and I'm trying to figure out why I'm eating this. (here comes the part about me NEVER doing something) I promptly get back up, get out a zip.lock baggie and put the ice cream sandwich in there, and throw it in the freezer, refill my iced tea, and fall back in the couch with the BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE EVER. I watched the rest of my creepy show and then went to bed--still smiling!

Closing thoughts: I've made a huge turn in my life. I know that sounds silly, but I would have finished that ice cream sandwich in the past and let the guilt set in. That is just how my life always worked... a series of bad choices and guilt. It is a vicious cycle that has plagued my life for 34 years and the damage is visible. But I've changed. I see it in myself--no 'Wednesday' do-overs anymore, no complaining about going to the gym (both internally and to anyone who would listen), no sitting on the couch and just eating for no reason, NO TURNING BACK NOW!!!
Who am I?

I have been sitting here for hours with my blog open to an empty post, there are so many things I want to talk about, but don't know where to start. I would do some task on my list, then come back to the blog, stare at it, then do something else, go pee, come back look again, etc... you get the idea. So, I think I'm just going to start to ramble and let everything come out and then edit appropriately. Here it goes...

Wedding
this weekend was Steve's wedding. He really found a great girl and I'm very happy for him; it was a pure sappy wedding that included an original poem that steve wrote for his new girl. It took so much not to break down and ugly cry.
With the wedding being this weekend, a flock of space camp folks came in. It was really amazing to see how we have all remain so close over the years, that 2 summers when were 19/20 created that strong of friendships! The SC gang: Kate, Chris H., Chris S, April, Kevin, Steve, Tremayne and Dan. We had the BEST time catching up on old times, re-living stories, laughing (hard), insulting each other, looking at pictures of kiddos, rubbing pregger bellies, talking about 401ks & mortgage rates, hugging, crying, etc... I truly love these people and cherish those times where we all get together and hangout (every 2 to 3 years based on wedding timing).
After the wedding on Saturday, I had everyone over and we hung out for a while and then the Henns and Spinales stayed the night and in the morning I made pancakes (read in the tone of Donkey in Sh.rek). We had a huge breakfast of pancakes, bacon, eggs, cinnamon rolls and juice. Yummo! We continued to laugh and re-live stories, everyone helped clean up and then the good byes started along with the tears. I miss the Florida gang so much and it was hard to say goodbye after such a short weekend, but folks had to get back to their families. After everyone left, I crashed hard on the couch and took the best 3.5 hour nap ever! Naps rock.

Clothes, Food and Exercise.
First, I wore a skirt that I have NEVER been able to wear before. I remember buying it when it was a closeout special and it was ~$5. I remember it was snug and thinking I 'just needed to lose 5lbs'. Yeah, whatever. It has sat in my closet for at least 2 years, if not longer. When trying to figure out what I was going to wear to the wedding, I was going thru the closet determined I was going to find something and not buy something that I hope I would never have to wear again cause it would be too small. I grabbed the skirt and I tried it on. Holy moly, it fit me and fit me well! My choice of tops to wear with it was bad, but I felt so cute in that skirt and I even wore my cute pink shoes to make it even better! I am so excited about being able to fit AND wear that skirt!
Second, it has been really hard that my scale is at Jodie's. In fact, it is driving me down right nuts. I NEED TO KNOW IF I GAINED/LOST ANYTHING! I feel as if I lost, not so much in my clothes, but how I feel overall, my stomach doesn't feel as big and I just feel better overall. I just want to black-ops that scale from her bench and run home as fast as I can. (but without a sports bra, that could cause some major injuries). I am counting down the hours to Wednesday morning when I can liberate my scale and see what I have done for the week. I will admit it kinda makes me push a bit harder not knowing how I'm doing thru the week and thinking that I have to step it up a notch to absolutely ensure a loss for this week.
However, with the food that I've eaten over the past week, I'm very surprised that I have not gained all my weight back and I'm back with tight clothes. I will say I haven't put the best things in my mouth, but I haven't gone completely nuts like I would have in the past. When I was eating breakfast that I made the other day, I used a small plate to eat on, so I would be aware of my portions and not take too much. I also grabbed Kate and we worked out before the wedding on Saturday. And, and, and... the BEST part of it all was when today came around, I just picked back up with my routine, I didn't do any of that stupid "I'll start on Wednesday again" nonsense thinking. I just did it and only did I think about it later did I realize that THIS routine is part of my life now. How freakin' cool is that!?!?!?!

Closing thoughts: I'm still thinking of my tattoo. Bryan suggested that I just get the outline of the dress for now and then fill it in when I reach my goal. I really like that idea, however, I would like the whole dress so I could always look down and have a reminder to be healthy and take care of yourself. the tattoo was never a goal oriented thing, it was something that was reminding me of my mother and how import it is to work hard at weight loss.
I've been reading a handful of articles lately that deal with heart disease and women. They are scaring the crap out of me. There where women in the articles that were 34 years old with heart attacks--that is my age and that is damn scary! I just have to keep telling myself that "I must become healthy, I CAN do this".

YIPPEE! Sandy had her baby yesterday--6 days before her scheduled C-Section and 20 days before her 'real' due date. Sage Logan Wayne was added to our little clique--who will add to the clan next!?!?

Man, I wish I had a portable device that I could blog on at any moment. When I was walking on the treadmill last night, there were so many things I was thinking of, and that I wanted to share. I can't remember for the life of me what those things were now. I guess that is age getting to me, huh?
Had a little bump in the road last night with the diet, but I got back on the horse this morning and doing well. After Jodie and I left the hospital we grabbed a bite to eat at PF.Chang's. OHMYGOSH that place just rocks. Besides the 10 bulbs of garlic that they used on our food, it was so damn good. But soon after the guilt settled in, but like I said, I got back on the horse today and I'm making smarter choices. AND I walked an hour on the treadmill last night :)

LOL, so after I got home from seeing the baby and having dinner, I immediately blew the "don't step on the scale for a week" thing out of the water. I HAD to weigh, I couldn't stop myself. Well, that was one of my dumber moves if you ask me and I freaked out by the number--hello, middle the day, after you ate, what did you expect!?!?!
So I promptly picked up the scale and took it over to Jodie's house where it will be visiting her house until Wednesday morning. I'm just shaking my head with how sad that really is!

Oh! And I am not my father Jodie! Long story, but I wanted to throw that out there.

Closing thoughts: That is just what we do. I've talked about friendship before and how much it means to me to have a close group of friends like I have. Yesterday was a text book example of how great it really is. Sandy needed us and Jodie and I dropped everything and we were out the door. And I know she would have done it for one of us. That is just what we do!



(2 hours later...)Oh! one more thing! Jodie sent me this picture; it was taken at a 5K in Fredricks.burg TX 5 years ago... I can't wait to 1) run again, 2) looking that good and 3) looking even better!

If you were keeping up with my weight, you will notice that I gained a little this week. No excuses as to why that happened, it just did. Nothing I can do about it now. Right? I will have to say though that it is a bit disappointing, but that is life and I can't live in the past.
I've asked Jodie to come and hide my scale from me for a week. I tried putting it away so I couldn't weigh myself in between Wednesdays, but that last until Thursday night. So hiding it shall be--sad huh, no self control.

things are going well otherwise, I've been getting up and going to the gym each day, it hasn't been that difficult, I just do it.

I really need to get up to the glass studio and start working on some stuff. There are a few molds I want to get, but they are so dang expensive. I think I'm going to make a bunch of blanks that will fit in the molds I want to buy. I need to make a count-down to when Art.Ober.Fest is.

Closing thoughts: I'm very excited at the thought that the new sport bras that I ordered were to big for me, however, now I don't have a sport bra to wear. I ordered the size lower and hopefully that will be in soon and then I can start running! YAY!

Privileged: –adjective
1. belonging to a class that enjoys special privileges; favored: the privileged few.
2. entitled to or exercising a privilege.
3. restricted to a select group or individual: privileged information; a privileged position.

This past weekend, my Dad's brother Norm, his wife Terri and my Dad's sister Roxie came in to spend some time with me. I love seeing family since I live so far away from everyone. What I am about to write, I don't mean it in a bad way, but my family is very 'simple'. They are good people, but they don't live with 'nice' things, they live with what they need too. When they came to my house they were in awe of the things I had and couldn't believe that I do it 'on my own'. I felt like a huge snob, a spoiled brat that is showing off. They never made a rude comment to me, but I just felt like they were questioning everything that I had and if it was really necessary. I am very grateful for the items I have and feel very blessed that I do have such a good job and are able to have the things in the house that I like.

I tried to stay focused on my food this weekend, going to one of my favorite mexican restaurants did not help that cause. Regardless of what the scale reads tomorrow, I'm going to take this week as a learning experience. I also am in search of some good cardio routines that are fun, I don't want to get bored with the treadmill or elliptical. If anyone has ideas. send them my way.

Closing thoughts: when logging onto my blog today, I saw that I had a comment from a Spa.ce Ca.mp buddy. Thanks for the kind words Debbie. Please stay in touch and I'll drop you a line soon.

these are the words I was telling myself this morning. I didn't sleep very well last night, I kept tossing and turning, I think I just had too much on my mind with the family coming tonight. Anywho, one of my bizarro dreams was about a skort that was in my closet that I haven't been able to wear in YEARS (at least 2 summers if not 3), the dream told me to go try it on. So at 5:30 this morning when my alarm went off to go to the gym, I went to the closet, searched for this damn skort and nervously put it on.

I'm trying to contain my excitement, I really am. I've mentioned in the past that I shouldn't have a ticker-tape parade for every little thing I do, and I'm really trying to stick with that, but damn--I lost 6.8lbs over the last two weeks! OHMYGOSH! I cannot believe that! Happy Dance! Okay, back to reality... I have a long way to making my goal, this is not a quick race to the end, this is a life style change. But holy sh*t, I lost almost 7lbs over the last two weeks. I think what I'm so happy about is when I think about where I've been and what I've been doing over the last two weeks. I have ALWAYS (and I mean ALWAYS) have used time away from home (vacations, business trips, going to see family) as an excuse to be 'bad' and then I 'can't' get back on a schedule; things quickly go to pot after that. I have finally have woken up and realized that the last two weeks are my life--I travel, I hang out with friends, I work nights, I have a crazy schedule sometimes. I beat it! I told it to go fuck off. (sorry for the language, but it is true), I finally took control AND RESPONSIBILITY and did what I needed to to make my life better and not complained about how I 'couldn't' do it. And the best part of it all is that it didn't kill me. I never felt like I couldn't eat something at the camp, or I couldn't do something in San Antonio--I made smart choices--wow, what a concept Nicole--amazing that it took you 34 years to figure it out!This feels too damn good to go back to frumpy grumpy Nicole.
Happy Dance.

Closing thought: I want to thank those who continue to support me and push me to blog. I honestly feel blogging has become an important tool like weights and cardio machines at the gym. It lets me get the thoughts and emotions out that I'm feeling at that moment and get encouragement back from my peeps. I get to express what I want to get out when sometimes I can't with spoken words and at times that my friends might not be around for me to speak with. Thank you to my friends--YOU ROCK!

So today is my 12th anniversary working at NA.SA. 12 years! I can't believe it; I feel so old.

Before I came to work tonight (my last night btw, I'm so stinkin' excited), I went to the gym, did the treadmill for 45 minutes (on incline 3). I was trying to increase my walking speed, but I realized if I went any higher that I would have to start jogging, and since I didn't have a sports bra on, I figured that might not be the best thing to do. Note to self: buy a new bra!
I'm excited at the thought of running, means I'm pushing myself to the next limit.

Kinda speaking about pushing yourself, I came across this awesome article on as news website. It is about how living in the past is bad for you. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/06/03/o.awful.shut.up/index.html
Check it out! I needed this article over the last few years; it feels so good to pull myself out of 'pity hole'. There is this one part of the article that I love
"When you grieve, they will yearn to comfort you. When you demand pity, they will yearn to smack you."
I think Jodie and Sandy were at the point they were going to smack me. And kick me. And run me over, and...

Closing thoughts: I am so excited about weighing myself tomorrow (never thought those words would come out of my mouth), I can't wait to see my loss for the last two weeks. Check out the numbers!
AND! I got a badass hair cut and I love it!

I'm so mad that I didn't blog last night, but things got busy at work and I couldn't get things out. So tonight, I have to catch up on two days! The horror. :-)

First, Kate, my sister in a former life is awesome and sneaky! I called her on Sunday to ask what their plans were for the Ru.nge wedding, they are coming in Friday lunch time and I'm so darn excited! I then lay on her that I want a tattoo. I know I have not address the tattoo issue here, I've been doing that off line with folks. I really want to get the Amer.ican Hear.t Assoc.ation Red.Dress tattooed on my inner left wrist. I want it small enough where I can hide it with a band aid or my watch, but have it be a of remembrance of my mother and a source of inspiration to keep on the right track. So, I pass this on to Kate and she is supportive of me. She got it instantly! (she always does) And then she tells me how proud she is of me and how I'm doing really well.
Nic: (inner thought) how does she know that I'm doing well?
Nic: huh?
Kate: I read your blog daily
Nic: Oh!!! Now I know how you know so much!
Kate: laughing
So, little Miss Kate has been reading this all along and has not left comments. I'm glad she is keeping up with me, it is nice to know that I have a silent supporter out there that is sending me good vibes. I'm planning on grabbing Kate and the daisy gals and having them support me while I get tattooed! I'm nervously excited!

I need to give a shout out to Bryan (jodie's man) for installing the cabinets in the garage for the cold working station! Another (very large) step to having a complete studio up and running. All I have to do is caulk around the seams and then i can start unpacking equipment and get things going. I can't wait to start playing!

Because I'm working nights, I got to sleep in a bit (8:30 whahoo!) I hit the gym with my fancy new notebook and I did upper body. I know I had a good workout b/c my arms and abs are killing me and it isn't even the next day yet! I love that 'hurt' feeling, it validates that I did have a good workout. After my workout, I followed Jodie's plan for the 1/2 and I walked 2.0 miles on the treadmill. I usually don't like the treadmill, but I got so used to it last week at the hotel, that I preferred to do 2 miles on that then on the elliptical. I was so happy with my walk, I was moving and grooving pretty good thru the whole thing and I had some rockin' music coming thru the headphones. Soon, I'll be running on it! eeeek, the thought!

Oh, check out the right side of the blog, I'm keeping a running total of weight loss and what week I'm in. I'm very excited to put stuff in 'writing', it helps me see how far I'm coming each week. (fyi, my weeks start on wednesdays)

Closing thought: Happy Birthday to my car, she was adopted 3 years ago today. I might have to buy her a car wash this weekend to celebrate!