I didn't sleep very well last night, I couldn't shut my mind off. All I wanted was a good nights sleep and that didn't happen. I really think I should have just gotten up in the middle of the night and blogged, got everything out and then went back to bed.
I did something last night that I have NEVER done in my 34 years on this Earth. I decided I was going to have a lazy rest the night after I walked the dogs (note: Brody does not do well in this humidity, I thought I killed him last night). So, after I got home, I changed clothes, re-filled my tea and fell down on the couch. I was taping some shows, so I decided I would go ahead and watch those. I'm sitting there and something just doesn't seem right. And while I'm watching this show that was totally creeping me out, it was running in the back of my head that I needed to get up and do something. A few minutes go by and I'm still having this nagging feeling. A-HA! I'm not eating! I'm not just sitting here shoving food in my face as I watch TV. I wasn't hungry, but yet that automatic food to mouth motion wasn't happening and my body didn't know what to do. I sat there and thought about it, this was the first time since I've really started this life style change that I had a chance just to sit down and watch TV. I've been on the go so much, and people in and out of the house that I haven't had alone time. Wow, the habits that we have. So I watch a little more TV and then I some how convince myself that a WW 2 point ice cream sandwich sounds good. So I get up, grab one and fall back into the couch. I'm exactly 2 bites in when I realize that I'm NOT hungry and I'm trying to figure out why I'm eating this. (here comes the part about me NEVER doing something) I promptly get back up, get out a zip.lock baggie and put the ice cream sandwich in there, and throw it in the freezer, refill my iced tea, and fall back in the couch with the BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE EVER. I watched the rest of my creepy show and then went to bed--still smiling!
Closing thoughts: I've made a huge turn in my life. I know that sounds silly, but I would have finished that ice cream sandwich in the past and let the guilt set in. That is just how my life always worked... a series of bad choices and guilt. It is a vicious cycle that has plagued my life for 34 years and the damage is visible. But I've changed. I see it in myself--no 'Wednesday' do-overs anymore, no complaining about going to the gym (both internally and to anyone who would listen), no sitting on the couch and just eating for no reason, NO TURNING BACK NOW!!!
Who am I?
I did something last night that I have NEVER done in my 34 years on this Earth. I decided I was going to have a lazy rest the night after I walked the dogs (note: Brody does not do well in this humidity, I thought I killed him last night). So, after I got home, I changed clothes, re-filled my tea and fell down on the couch. I was taping some shows, so I decided I would go ahead and watch those. I'm sitting there and something just doesn't seem right. And while I'm watching this show that was totally creeping me out, it was running in the back of my head that I needed to get up and do something. A few minutes go by and I'm still having this nagging feeling. A-HA! I'm not eating! I'm not just sitting here shoving food in my face as I watch TV. I wasn't hungry, but yet that automatic food to mouth motion wasn't happening and my body didn't know what to do. I sat there and thought about it, this was the first time since I've really started this life style change that I had a chance just to sit down and watch TV. I've been on the go so much, and people in and out of the house that I haven't had alone time. Wow, the habits that we have. So I watch a little more TV and then I some how convince myself that a WW 2 point ice cream sandwich sounds good. So I get up, grab one and fall back into the couch. I'm exactly 2 bites in when I realize that I'm NOT hungry and I'm trying to figure out why I'm eating this. (here comes the part about me NEVER doing something) I promptly get back up, get out a zip.lock baggie and put the ice cream sandwich in there, and throw it in the freezer, refill my iced tea, and fall back in the couch with the BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE EVER. I watched the rest of my creepy show and then went to bed--still smiling!
Closing thoughts: I've made a huge turn in my life. I know that sounds silly, but I would have finished that ice cream sandwich in the past and let the guilt set in. That is just how my life always worked... a series of bad choices and guilt. It is a vicious cycle that has plagued my life for 34 years and the damage is visible. But I've changed. I see it in myself--no 'Wednesday' do-overs anymore, no complaining about going to the gym (both internally and to anyone who would listen), no sitting on the couch and just eating for no reason, NO TURNING BACK NOW!!!
Who am I?
June 17, 2008 at 9:12 AM
Yay for not needing/wanting to eat just to eat.
I, on the other hand, had to ask Bry to pull me away from the cobbler!
And yay for walking, it's just too dang hot now.
June 17, 2008 at 9:23 AM
Girl you are just doing all the right things. I am so proud of you. Keep right on going!