these are the words I was telling myself this morning. I didn't sleep very well last night, I kept tossing and turning, I think I just had too much on my mind with the family coming tonight. Anywho, one of my bizarro dreams was about a skort that was in my closet that I haven't been able to wear in YEARS (at least 2 summers if not 3), the dream told me to go try it on. So at 5:30 this morning when my alarm went off to go to the gym, I went to the closet, searched for this damn skort and nervously put it on.
"got it over the butt"
"damn, over the hips. it'll end there"
"can I button these?"
"holy bleeping bleep"
"Samson, Brody, I can wear this!" (that comment prompted barking b/c
I was screaming)
The freak out began, the aimless walk around my room trying to figure out what to do next cause I could get something on that I couldn't a week ago.
Thank goodness I'm going to the therapist this afternoon, this will be the #1 topic. I've worked really hard trying to change all my other bad lifestyle habits, but this issue sneaks up on me and makes me freak out. She'll probably tell me that I need to tell my inner critic to shut the f up.
And the whole time I was on the treadmill this morning, all I could think about was how my thighs were burning off and how I can fit into my other stuff soon. When i lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, i would try stuff on and 'stage' it in order of when I thought I could wear it. I think I will be spending some time in my closet very soon doing the same thing this time around!

Closing thoughts: As I'm typing this and talking about letting old habits go, I'm finding myself feeling guilty for something I did earlier. Before my 2 hour meeting, I hate a peanut granola bar--so what? you ask, you're right, no biggie, I logged it in and counted it for today's points. Well, the meeting was so dang boring, I hated being there and I was fighting just to keep my eyes open. Well, I grabbed another bar out of my bag to give me something to do so I would not fall asleep! I wasn't hungry, I didn't need that bar, but I used food as something to pass the time. And I feel horrible doing it. I did log it in WW, I'm not going to ignore it, but I hated that I wasted food points.
It is over, move on, make the next choice a better one. Right!?