This is a huge shout out to my sistas who have supported me over the years. I love you all. I guess my post the other day freaked some people out -- including me. I just re-read it and wow was I in a bad place the other night. I honestly feel better and I'm even determined more to stay in the 'good place' due to some messages I have received.

I hadn't spoke with Kristenia since she left a few weeks ago, so I picked up the phone and called her today just to catch up on things. And she is just the best. She asked me how I was doing and then gave me the best words a scared girl could hear. I've known her for my whole adult life and she has never let me down, so I know I need to listen to her now more than ever.
Thank you Kristenia, I really appreciate your support and love. I wish you lived closer.

Right before I sat down to open my blog, I checked my email and I had one Kate. She was emailing me from the Dave Matthews Concert (so jealous!) and dropped a few quick lines about how she has my back and to keep moving forward. Another one I wished lived closer.

And the most incredible thing happened this morning. I believe by now you know that I'm kinda afraid of kids, that they freak me out and I don't know how to handle them. I love K B & C so much that it hurts sometimes thinking how far away I am from them, but today my heart grew a little bit more cause of another little guy.
I went over to Jodie's house this morning to see if she wanted to hit the gym. Her and Lan were sitting on the chair just watching cartoons and hanging out. I sat there for a while and I was getting Lan's piggies and such and then I said I was heading to the gym.
Lan: "I go gym too"
We laugh at him and Jodie says jokingly
JR: "wanna go to the gym with Ma Cole"
Lan: "yes"
JR: "well, let's get dressed"
and Lan starts allowing jodie to put his clothes on. Now this is a big deal folks, J & B have been fighting with him for weeks about putting clothes on, the kid would rather be naked. After Jodie gets his clothes on, he grabs his shoes, gets those on and then grabs my hand (sigh).
JR: "you going with Ma Cole?"
Lan: "yes"
now the thought of this kid leaving his mom (he is NOT a mama's boy, but he just loves being around her) and going with me just because he wants to is quite amazing. And the whole time is his holding my hand and leading me towards the door like him and I are going somewhere. Jodie ends up getting up and putting her shoes on and decides that while he is dressed that they will hit the grocery store. So, after jodie puts her shoes on, he grabs her hand and my hand and we all walk out the door. Now another thing that Lan is not keen on is anyone putting him in or out of his car seat unless you are his mom or MaDee; but today he let me put him in there and buckle him up and we were watching ScobbyDoo together. I just was shaking my head.
That kid melted my heart today, he doesn't even notice that kids freak me out, he just loves me back. I tell him that I need to move my car and I'll see him later and he proceeds to lean over to give me a kiss... yeah, I've fallen for him, he's got me...